What You've Been Looking for All Along
by thelightandthedarkness
Summary: What if Guts decided to stay with the Hawks and become a Lord after their victory at Doldrey? Would he still want to leave, only knowing that his only regret would be leaving Casca behind? How Guts and Casca's relationship grows from rivalry to romance an
1. Declaration of Lordship

**_This fic takes place during the second arc of the Berserk Golden Age movies. Even though I respect Miura's wonderful manga and his storytelling, I really enjoyed the romantic feel of the first and second movies that were made this past year. This is only what I wished had happened with the growing relationship between Guts and Casca, so it does not go with the manga, only within the storyline of the second movie. So basically, its mainly Gutsca-centric! My OTP! This chapter has a few flashbacks, so I hope you won't be confused! Hope you enjoy and please, any reviews are welcomed! Also, this fic will be multi-chaptered!_**

This was it. The Band of the Hawk was now considered royalty, with titles and lands that would be to anyone's whimsical likening. Corkus let out a cry of joy, as he flipped his tall hat up into the air at the victory ball held in the celebration of the Hawks' successful defeat of Midland's enemies. Pippin just smiled, with his eyes being closed as usual, having the look of a surprised child on his birthday. The enginamatic Griffith, the Hawk's leader, was now introduced as the "White Hawk General", he had a look of contentment, as though he always knew this time would come in his dreams.

But it was Guts, who was handsomely dressed in a lord's garments that seemed unimpressed, as he walked out of the main ballroom, with little reaction to the good news. Casca seemed to be the only one who noticed him leaving, her beautiful eyes following the handsome mercenary's form as he walked out of the room. Then, Griffith's gaze turned from the King's speech towards Casca's gaze following Guts. For some reason, Griffith thought, it broke his heart to see her saddened eyes at Guts walking out. Surely, she deserved to be happy.

As the music began playing in the ballroom, Casca found herself looking at Griffith talking to the lovely Princess Charlotte. _They've become so close. Surely she would be a better match for Griffith, than I could ever be. He deserves her…he deserves to be happy_. All Casca knew was that she was surrounded by at least four lords asking for a dance. She absentmindedly smoothed her delicate hands over the gorgeous golden gown she wore, which highlighted her olive skin, and gave more color to her beautiful eyes and pink lips.

But just then, a tall figure stood in her view as Guts stood in front of her; it made the other lords feel so insignificant and intimidated, as they began to step away. Casca looked up at the handsome mercenary, who only raise an eyebrow to indicate for her to dance with him. Her eyes looked up towards the ceiling, as though she was considering his wordless invitation, and then she made eye contact with him, her eyes accepting the invitation to dance.

Corkus was dancing with a lovely lady, as he spinned around, noticing Casca leading the hulking form of a brute to the ballroom floor, his steps quite hesitant, as she began spinning him around, encouraging Guts to dance with her. Corkus's mouth dropped; everyone knew in the Band of the Hawk that somehow Guts' and Casca's feelings had changed towards each other, ever since Guts saved her from being cast into the river from an earlier battle and how he protected her during Lord Adon's army descending on the both of them in the forest. It was quite obvious; maybe, the rumors were true. Guts and Casca had finally put their differences aside; Casca only doted on Guts, even resting in his bed in his tent for a few days and nights, as Guts was recovering from his numerous wounds from his infamous fight in the forest, giving him the name, "The Hundred Man Slayer,". Corkus only imagined in his somewhat perverted mind that they had become intimate with each other while she helped heal Guts from his wounds. He laughed at the thought, impossible, right?

As Guts was being spinned around the grand ballroom, with the help of Casca's hands directing him, he could only smile, even laugh a little, seeing how delighted and happy this beautiful woman before him was; as tears of uptmost joy filled the corners of her beautiful eyes.

After the ball had ended, a tired Casca was escorted to one of the numerous rooms in the castle that was set up for the Hawks. Guts held her small hand in his large calloused hand, helping her up the numerous flights of stairs leading to her room. As they reached her door, Casca turned towards Guts, as she swiped a few of her bangs away from her forehead. "Thank you Guts," she said in a sweet tone, unlike the harsh tone she had used towards the stubborn Raiders Commander whenever he disobeyed orders. She placed a chaste kiss, almost hesitantly upon his cheek. Guts held that look of surprise, as his eyes widened, his mouth in an O shape, from her sweet kiss. He only blinked towards her action. "I suppose I'll see you in the morning," she stated in a soft, submissive fashion, her long eyelashes fluttering up at his expression.

"Goodnight, Casca," was the only response Guts could give to her. But he just stood there, his hand still enclasped with her own, as though he was unsure of letting it go. It was then that his head lowered down to her face, as he mimicked the kiss upon her own cheek. "Sleep well," he stated, as he rustled a hand through his dark spiked hair, unsure of the implications of the sweet kiss that he gave back to her.

Casca giggled; she liked seeing how embarrassed Guts was at her actions towards him. It was as though her actions threw the rough mercenary off-guard, not sure what he should think of her changing feelings towards him. She sighed softly and opened the door to her room, as she glanced upon Guts, who was already headed down the hall. How handsome he looked in the dark overcoat and pants he wore; it only added to his masculinity, but in a more civilized tone, that of a future lord. She closed the door, as her heart raced, her back was against the door of her room. _What's going on with me? Why is my heart pounding?_ She thought as she put a hand to her chest, willing her heart to stop pounding at a rapid pace.

Casca had never felt this way; except when she was around Griffith. But to her, Griffith was someone who had given her the will to fight, had given her an option to fight for herself, as a woman, and as a soldier. But as she thought of it, the love she had for Griffith was more admiration, than romantic feelings. But with Guts, ever since he saved her from their fall into the river, and his risking his life for her to escape from Adon's army in the forest, her feelings for him had taken quite a drastic change. It was as though she began noticing his handsome features; the shape of his lips, his pale skin that helped accentuated his dark eyes, his chiseled cheekbones. And not to mention the sinewy muscles that seemed to form hills upon his tall frame. She remembered how her hands would absentmindely roam over his abs, chest and shoulders, when she lied down with him those days and nights after his battle in the forest for her escape and safety. Griffith didn't even have to order her to lie with Guts in his time of healing, as he did the first time around, as she took it upon herself to sleep close to him. She remembered how she had hated lying next to Guts the first time he was struck down by Griffith, their first meeting. She realized at this very moment, how grateful she felt towards sharing those past nights with Guts, even though he was mostly unconscious throughout his healing. But when he awoke, he only smiled at her, as though he himself was somehow wanting something more from her. But Casca only blushed, as she got up from his bed, and clothed herself. Of course nothing happened between the two of them; she only kept him warm. She only reminded herself that Guts needed to be well-rested and battle-ready for the defense of Doldrey in the next week.

Guts was packing his bag that he often carried with him on his long journeys. He needed to leave; how could he possibly become a lord with the life he was so accustomed to living; a lone mercenary. But his feelings were warring within his mind. The Hawks had become family to him, needing him for his brute strength and years of wielding his sword to be the decisive end to their victories within the past four years or so. And he would be leaving Casca as well. That thought alone made Guts stop for a moment from packing his belongings. He walked over to the bed, where his long red cape was on top of the blanket. He picked it up, as he looked over it. He remembered how he had Casca lie on it when she was shivering from her fever in the cave he found after their fall into the river a few months ago. He could still smell her scent on it. His eyes closed as he reminisced how he held her naked unconscious form in his lap, all the while holding his sword with his other hand, as though daring for an intruder to come upon them at the cave's entrance. He remembered how he was thinking about his conflicting emotions towards his commander; anger, annoyance, and possibly, a growing admiration for her strength and fierce will. Those feelings kept him up, holding a vigilance throughout that rainy night in the cave.

Guts' thoughts came back to the present, as he wrapped his cape around his back, enclasping the front at his neck. Perhaps, he should at least stop by her room to say goodbye to her; she at least deserved that.


	2. A Proposal

The hallway towards Casca's bedroom was only lit by numerous candles glowing and flickering held by candlesticks on the walls. Guts walked as quietly as he could, given his massive size, in order not to disturb the other Hawks whose bedrooms were close to Casca's own room. His thoughts of his growing admiration or attraction towards the swordswoman was plaguing his mind.

He felt a body run into him down the hallway; Guts was so enraptured in his thoughts that he didn't even look up while walking down the vast hallway of the castle. "What is this?" the eloquent voice of the Hawks leader, Griffith said in a slight undertone. "I hope that what I see, isn't what I am thinking,".

Guts looked up in surprise to see Griffith's light crystal blue eyes widen in abhorrence at the realization that he was planning to leave in the middle of the night. "Oy" Guts only managed to get out, as Griffith's porceline hand grabbed Guts' elbow, moving him towards a common room within the hallway. Guts knew that he wasn't afraid of telling Griffith how he was leaving, or even why, but just running into him at this time of night, was not a good sign of their friendship ending in farewells or wishes of good luck between the two of them.

As soon as Griffith opened the large door with a slight creaking sound, he pushed Guts into a dark room, with only the moonlight giving some light into the vast room. Guts turned around, seeing how annoyed Griffith was, as he practically sighed, with his shoulders heaving, as he shut the door and turned around, facing the lone mercenary.

"I saw it in your eyes," Griffith stated, his eyes giving a weary and forlorn look as he scanned over Guts' tall frame and his bag that he carried on long journeys. "At the ball, when you were sitting on the couch, when I smiled in appreciation for everything you've done for us,…it was then, I knew you are too headstrong and stubborn to want to stay,".

Guts only huffed quietly, not wanting to have to explain himself for the reason of leaving Griffith's side. Why should he? The Hawks had everything they had ever hoped for; being lords and having lands, the material things that Guts never desired. That wasn't his dream.

"Guts, if you leave, you will be alone,…Casca will be alone," was all Griffith could muster through his irritated voice. "The king had spoken to me privately; he stated that even though Casca played an important role in protecting Doldrey, she being a woman, could never hold lands or a title; it's the law of the land,". Griffith looked at Guts, never blinking as he spoke. "She would have to marry a lord, either one of the court or one of us, in order to live a life of entitlement and happiness, as she so deserves,".

Guts' brow furrowed in misunderstanding. "Then have her marry Judeau, he always was affectionate towards her," Guts stated matter-of-factly. It was quite known in the Hawks camp how Judeau's eyes would follow Casca's movements, as though he was a lovesick puppy that would follow her to the end.

It was then that Griffith walked towards the mercenary, his hands grabbing Guts' broad shoulders and gripped them with his fingers. "I myself have always known Casca to be admirable, and how beautiful she is, but I need to marry Charlotte in order to hopefully gain the throne in the future,". Even though he and Princess Charlotte's potential engagement helped Griffith achieve his dreams of having his own country more attainable, Griffith did hold feelings of attraction and potential love towards the innocent royal.

"I've noticed, as everyone in the Band have sensed, how Casca looks at you, ever since you two survived the fall into the river and Lord Adon's attack in the forest. When you weren't looking, how her eyes followed you with a look of admiration or even want,".

"Want?" Guts stated in a confused tone, his eyebrows raised at Griffith's confession.

"Obviously you are blind to a woman's affections towards you," Griffith stated, as his head cocked to the side. "Casca has given complete trust over to you, even allowing you to show any physical contact with her," Griffith stated. Griffith remembered how he gave Casca the choice to defend herself, long ago, when she was about to be raped by a lord whom her family had sold her to; and he also remembered how he was the only other person, besides Guts, to be allowed to touch her, in a friendly manner. Hell, it took months for Casca to even not shudder at Griffith patting her on her shoulder whenever he walked by her or even in a simple hug after an important victory.

"Even though Judeau would take care of Casca and dote on her, I fear that the romantic feelings he has for her are not mutual on her part, she only thinks of him as a dear friend," Griffith stated, as he walked around Guts, contemplating his potential as a future lord and match to Casca. "But you, I've always seen you as a potential mate for her,…all the years of her hating you, when you were getting accustomed to being in the position as the Raiders Commander, I have noticed often, that underneath the veil of jealousy and hate, is a sense of hidden desire and attraction,".

Guts had to laugh; here was Griffith, using Casca as a type of reward to sway him from leaving the Hawks. Yes, Guts noticed her exotic beauty and intelligence as a commander; he oftentimes would notice her olive-toned skin accentuated by the sunrays whenever he rode behind her as the group moved from one camp to another. But it was only recently, in the last few months, how Casca invaded his dreams; her unclothing herself and crawling into his bed, giving herself completely to him in the most erotic and intimate manner. It was at those times Guts would awaken in a sheen of sweat, shaking his head and laughing slightly how ridiculous it would be if they did share their nights together that way. Surely, Griffith wouldn't use her as a pawn to win Guts back into the Band of the Hawk.

"Funny, you talk as though you even know what she feels for me, maybe she only looks at me as a friend or protector," Guts stated in a tone of seriousness.

"Guts, just stay, for a few days, for my sake, if you value me as a friend," Griffith stated, almost a slight plea in his voice. "Let what I have said to you tonight to sink in, just don't leave yet,".

Guts was stubborn; whatever he decided to do, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, he would take action upon that idea. But hearing Griffith's proposal only clouded his mind; it was so like the enigmatic Hawks leader to easily sway the lone mercenary to his side, no matter the cost.

When Griffith opened the door to the hallway, as a sign of ending their quiet discussion, he turned to face Guts once more, only this time, with a brilliant smile upon his femine features; "Besides, I already told the king that you and Casca are engaged, your wedding will be in a week, as well as mine! Oh, and one more thing; I told the king that if you try to escape or leave, you would be imprisoned, and Casca's life would be in mortal danger,".

Guts was about to piss in his pants. Engagement? A wedding? To Casca? If he didn't go through with it, Casca's life would be held in the balance? He felt his stomach churn violently; he ran to the nearest window of the common room and opened it, as he leaned his head out and vomited. Already, Guts noticed at least fifty of the Kings Gurard holding vigilance around the perimeter of the castle. Sure he could take them, but Casca's life would be at stake, and he wouldn't be able to live with that thought of her being in a state of peril. He had already sacrificed a lot of his blood to ensure her safety.

**_Okay, so here is the next chapter to the fic. Some of you have asked if the Godhand would have anything to do with this fic but I am leaving it out because this story is my idea, it doesn't follow the manga or the third arc of the movie. I only had Griffith threaten Casca's life in the balance, in order to think of a way for Guts, being as stubborn as he is, to stay with the Band of the Hawk. Besides, it seems to me how Griffith holds Guts to such high esteem; the thought of even Guts to leave would lead to so many levels of betrayal to Griffith. Also, in my story, Charlotte's father is doting and loving, its not one of incest. He's just protective of his only child and she still has her innocence. Please review as always and leave any questions or ideas you may have! Thanks!_**


	3. Revealing Hidden Feelings

Guts tossed and turned, unaccustomed to the elaborate large bed that he was sleeping in at the castle. He wanted to run, leave this place, he felt as though the walls were closing in around him. It irritated him how Griffith imposed himself once again upon the lone mercenary; dammit, why did his elaborate words seem to sway Guts every time? Besides, if he were to leave the castle at this time of the night, he would not only face the Kings Gurard, but also know that Casca's life could be in danger if he chose not to go through with Griffith's wishes of Guts marrying her. In his mind, Guts knew he was still a prisoner; since the time he was a child being harshly taught how to live this life under the strict tutelage of Gambino.

He decided that since he couldn't sleep, he would practice his swordplay outside in the still falling snow. It always helped Guts clear his mind whenever he worried or felt there was no control over a situation. Surely Griffith would know that Guts wasn't planning to run off, if he happened to sneak up on him in the middle of the night?

He got dressed in his usual pants and dark top that fitted against his muscular frame. He also put on some of his armor, to not only keep the cold at bay, but to somehow make him feel that he was in the most comfortable place he could be; in the heat of a battle.

As he practiced his moves with the heavy broadsword outside in the courtyard, he heard quiet footsteps coming from behind him. As the usual instinct kicked in, Guts swung around in a bold move, his longsword almost striking Casca, who had surprised him.

"Hey, watch where you swing that sword!" she stated in her usual harsh tone towards Guts.

Guts had the typical surprised look he gave whenever Casca chastised him and made him feel guilty, especially whenever Griffith got into danger whenever Guts' reckless behavior got him into danger. "What are you doing out here?" he asked, his heaving breaths coming out in the cold night air. "It's cold Casca, and late".

Casca only gave him a look of absurdity at his obvious statement. She knew it was cold and late but she needed to talk privately to Guts about the king setting up a potential engagement with the both of them. And her look was not happy.

"Why, why would I have to marry someone to gain any sort of entitlement?" she began stating, as she tried forcing the oncoming tears at bay. "I can't marry, I just can't give myself to someone who may treat me…" Just then, the tears feel from her eyes onto the falling snow. She made her way to the fountain, and sat down, trying to catch her breath.

Guts knew then that either Griffith or the king had finally spoken to her about their potential engagement. This was not what Guts wanted; he needed to be the one to tell her first.

"Guts, I'm not marrying…no, I refuse to marry you or anyone else to gain the respect I deserve, just like the other Hawks!" she stated in anger. "I hardly know you, I was just beginning to…but still, no, this can't be. I won't let it happen!".

Guts walked towards her and decided to sit down by her side at the fountain. "Casca, this wasn't my idea either. I was planning to leave, but Griffith stopped me and coerced me into the engagement. He said if I didn't go through with the marriage, you could be,…" he couldn't finish the statement.

"Leave? You? So it is true what you said to me when we talked outside on the balcony at the ball," she stated, her tear-soaked eyes wide with shock. She only thought that Guts was not meaning what he said to her privately at the ball the night before. She only thought that he would sleep it off, give himself time to think over how ridiculous it sounded how he could leave the Band of the Hawk after gaining everything they could ever hope for; a place within society, respect and a new comfortable life, with no worries of food or money. They had all struggled for so long, and without Guts joining them, none of this would have ever been attainable. Why would he throw it all away?

"Guts, I know that we've had our differences, but look at what you can have, especially with you being a man in this society. I mean, shit, I have to marry someone who has a title to get what I deserve!" she stated in annoyance and slight fear in her voice.

Guts only could look at her in the moonlight. He was momentarily lost in how the light cascaded upon her beautiful face.

"Casca, even if I do stay, Griffith and the king expects you to marry me, and I don't want to have you to go through this; you shouldn't belong to anyone. You're a strong woman, but I just can't leave. Your life will…will be in danger if I try to leave,".

Just then, Casca's eyes flew up to his own. Griffith would never put her in danger or threaten her life for the sake of Guts staying, would he? She knew that Griffith needed Guts to help him win battles, to achieve his dream.

"Guts, are you saying,…Griffith?" she stated in a shocked abhorrent tone. "Griffith talked to you, and you just accepted it?"

Guts' brow furrowed, as he suddenly got up from sitting and stood in front of Casca, wanting to make his point clear to her. "He isn't giving me a choice. Even if I do leave, the king would probably send out a whole army to track me down, and I just can't let anything happen to you, to try to risk it," he stated as he swiped his calloused hand through his hair. "I am willing to stay, only to keep you safe, even if it means we have to marry,".

Casca shook her head; how could she get herself out of this situation? Sure, she was beginning to see Guts in a different light, since he fended off Adon's men in the forest, only for her to escape with her innocence intact. And he was very attractive, which she began noticing in the last few months. But the thought of giving herself to anyone, even to Guts, in a physical manner, only made her anxiety worse.

She saw that Guts had a small knife on his hip, one of the numerous knives Judeau had given him in the past. She immediately grabbed it from its sheath and held it with a firm shaking grasp. If she couldn't have the entitlements she so deserved because she was a woman, and if Griffith held her life in the balance, she could end it; right here, right now.

Guts saw what she was planning to do, and in a swift movement, he grabbed her hand by the wrist, causing her to drop the knife onto the cold ground. "No, Guts, what the hell are you doing?" she stated in anger, as she slapped him across his face.

Guts instinctively pulled her to his massive frame, as he held her in a firm powerful grip. "What the fuck Casca! After the countless times I shed blood to keep you from harm's way, this is how you value your life?"

Casca only leaned her head into his chest, as she cried incessantly, her body heaving in her sobbing. Guts embraced her small frame and leaned his head into her hair, smelling the lavender oil from her bath that night. "Casca, look at me, please," he stated quietly.

Casca's head moved up towards his eyes, with tears streaming down her face. It was then that she noticed his eyes took on the look of wonderment upon her, as he leaned his head down towards her own, and kissed her.

Casca moved away from the kiss, just as she opened her mouth and kissed him back in response to his intimate action. Guts kissed her back, surprised that she didn't punch or hit him for kissing her. He opened his mouth as his tongue slowly entered her mouth, tasting her sweet breath.

Casca ended the kiss, as she sighed, her legs giving out on her as she knelt down on her knees on the pavilion. Guts followed her, as he held her head up to his own with both his large hands. "Casca, I don't know what will happen in the future, but since the past few months, I found that I really don't' want to leave you. I don't care what Griffith wants, he is finally closer to what he wants for himself by marrying Charlotte, but I just want you, with me until the end of my days,". Guts stated with a look of seriousness in his eyes. "Even when I was planning to leave that night, I was headed towards your room, I was going to ask you if…you wanted to leave with me,".

"Why?" she stated, trying to still her sobs. "After how I've treated you, how you've bled for me. I just thought that you deserved to never see me again, after everything I've put you through the last four years,".

"Because, I've finally realized that if I did leave without you, I don't have a dream of my own. No path to follow. I somehow knew within the last few months, that you were my dream,".

Casca looked up at him, her cheeks ruddy with either the cold or surprise at Guts' confession to her. She had feelings that were different from anger and jealousy towards this stubborn Raiders Commander, but now, she finally understood why her heart skipped when she saw him at the ball, especially when he danced with her. She had never been so free or happy or even safe in her entire life until she was with him at the ball. It wasn't the clothes she wore or the festive atmosphere, but she finally understood that she was truly content and joyous for the first time in her life.

"Guts, what will become of us?" she stated as she swiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I don't know, but I promise you, if we do need to marry, I won't force you to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. We can play along with Griffith's plan, until we decide what to do in the meantime. I'm willing to do that, if you are,".

Casca nodded slowly, letting Guts know that she accepted the fact that they would both have to go through with the engagement and the wedding. But she was somehow happy as well. Guts was the only man who truly saw her as a woman, that part of her that she so desperately wanted to let out, under her rough commanding exterior. And he was bringing that part out of her, slowly each day. Perhaps this marriage could work out. Besides, she felt relieved that she didn't have to marry a stranger who didn't know anything about her or her temperament.

"Are you sure you don't mind if I…don't sleep with you when we are married?" she stated with hesitance in her voice. "I want to…but I'm just not ready yet," She looked up at him with embarrassment. It would be hard for her to get over her past encounters with almost being taken advantage of, to put it in softer tones. And she felt she needed to tell Guts what happened to her when she was young, being sold off to a lord who only wanted to take her innocence.

"I can wait, and if the time comes, I promise, I won't do anything to harm you," he stated with sincerity. "Come on, let's go inside, it's getting cold out here,"

Just as Guts was about to leave with Casca's hand in his own, she pulled him back to her. "Wait a minute, aren't you forgetting something?" she stated to him coyishly.

Guts' brow furrowed, wondering what she was meaning. Just then, Casca put her hands on her hips and frowned. "When a nobleman asks for a lady to marry him, he's supposed to propose to her" she stated in a mocked silly tone to her voice.

Guts took her into his arms, embracing her in the cold moonlight. "Lady Casca, Second in Command in the Band of the Hawk, will you marry me?" he stated in a sweet tone.

She looked into his beautiful eyes, seeing only love and longing in them. "Yes, Lord Guts, Raiders Commanders of the Band of the Hawk, I will marry you," she stated in earnesty.

Just then, Guts kissed her, with reverence, trying to keep the kiss from becoming heated.

"Come on, let's go inside," he stated, as he once led her back into the castle.


	4. Settling In to Civil Life

A few days after Guts and Casca had talked about going through the arranged engagement and confessing their growing love for each other, the King of Midland had a royal hunt which was held in the Band of the White Hawks' honor. It was the end of the winter snows, as Casca was adapting very well to the adjustment of becoming a Lady of the Court, but for her fiancé, Guts, it was quite the opposite.

She had just learned to ride side-saddle, as Casca was still a little uncomfortable in a beautiful red gown with gold tresses running down the fabric. And not only for that matter, she had worn a small corset underneath, which Princess Charlotte recommended for her to wear on this occasion, stating that it would enhance her cleavage, allowing Guts to see her beauty and be enamored of her.

The corset made it hard enough for Casca to breath, as though it constricted her breaths but Charlotte stated she would become accustomed to it's hinderance on Casca's movements.

As Guts was talking with Griffth, waiting for Charlotte and Casca to arrive on horseback, before they left the castle, Griffith was informed that Guts had proposed to Casca, and he had Casca's maid bring back news to him how their relationship was progressing.

Just then, Charlotte arrived with Casca, each of them side-saddle on their horses. As Guts' eyes met with Casca's, his eyes averted to the tight fitting form of the dress, especially where it cupped her breasts. His eyes lingered on her cleavage, especially how a long necklace that Charlotte had suggested Casca to wear, which led the wandering eye down to the tops of her exposed breasts. Sure, he had undressed her and seen her fully nude before, when he was forced to get her out of her wet armor and clothing from their fall into the river, but Guts' main drive was based soley on survival; he never thought of lingering thoughts on the shapeliness of his commander's body, until now.

Griffith noticed Guts' eyes lingering on Casca's form-fitting dress, as it hugged her curves. He only smiled to himself, full-well knowing that it was Princess Charlotte's idea from the night before to have Casca wear the gown, in order to persuade Guts into falling for her. But Griffith only smirked at Charlotte's idea, stating that he had news of the engaged couple's feelings for each other, from Casca's maid who assisted her with her bathing and dressing. He already knew that their hidden desires for each other was slowing being drawn out. It made his heart glad.

Guts needed a hint from Griffith to approach Casca, seeing that she was to be the wife of a lord. Griffith had usually given Guts pointers on such trivial things, such as which fork to use for what dish, how to bow and when it was appropriate, as well as how to treat Casca as a lady, in which Griffith was happy that Guts was concerned about how to converse with her in a social setting.

As Griffith nudged Guts to get him to greet Casca, Guts moved his horse towards Casca's own, as he tipped the ridiculous hat that he wore towards her in greeting. Casca smiled appreciatively at him, only giving away a slight disappointed look towards his head; she loved seeing Guts' spikey hair; how it accentuated his attractiveness. But she smiled, as she noticed the dark overcoat and pants that didn't hide his handsome frame.

"Good morning, my lady", Guts stated to her in a hushed tone; Casca knew it was difficult for Guts to manage this lord thing, but she was sure that he would get comfortable with it. Besides, riding sidesaddle in a tight-fitting corset and dress did not ease her mind on the changes she had to adjust to in order to live the life of a lady of the court.

"Guts, you look very handsome, as usual" she stated quietly towards him, not wanting the others to overhear. Her eyes fell upon the splendid red cotton scarf that was tied in the front of his vest, with the dark overcoat hanging over his shoulders. "But, I would rather you take that silly hat off your head, I love seeing your eyes,".

Guts let out a sigh of relief, as he took off the ridiculous hat and shoved it into a sidebag on his horse's saddle. He was grateful that Casca noticed how he wanted to rip that hat off his head, and throw it into some nearby bushes.

Later that night, at the ball, Casca felt herself becoming weak, and as soon as the all-too-familiar cramps started coming on, she found herself needing to sit down before giving away any signs of uneasiness she was feeling at the moment.

As Guts was dancing with her, his arm around her back, as he made sure he left a good amount of space between them, as was the customary style for a man and a woman to dance, he notice how her eyes became heavily lidded, how she put a delicate hand upon his broad chest, showing signs for him to stop dancing. Guts knew it reminded him how she looked when she fell back from that cliff a few months ago, taking him with her. This terrified him. _Thank God there wasn't any large cliffs around_ he thought.

Guts took the hint from Casca and led her from the ballroom floor to a nearby couch. They both sat down, with Casca trying desperately to sit up ladylike, in fear that the whole court would notice her pain. Guts sat on the other side, of the small couch, wanting desperately to move closer to her, at least for her to put her head on his chest, if she was feeling bad. It was so like him to want to comfort her; Guts was beginning to show his affectionate side towards her since their confessions of love towards each other just a couple nights ago in the courtyard.

Griffith excused himself from talking with a few lords, as he noticed that Casca wasn't feeling well; he as well as Guts knew how hard it was for Casca whenever she was beginning to bleed.

"If you need to take Casca upstairs to her room, I will tell the others that she ate something that didn't agree with her," Griffith gently stated, as his porceline hand smoothed over Casca's, showing her understanding.

"But Griffith, if I stay with her tonight, it might look bad, besides, we are not married yet" Guts stated quietly.

Griffith only chuckled at how Guts was concerned how it would look; an engaged lord and his lady spending the night together in the same bed; he didn't want Casca to be disrespected by the lords and ladies of the court.

"If you only knew what really happens behind closed doors Guts," Griffith smiled. "Especially within castle walls. Besides, they know that you and Casca are engaged, whatever they may think, well, let's just say, it's only because they themselves have done it before. Go on, no shame will be come upon the two of you," Griffith stated as he ushered Guts to take an almost unconscious Casca up the stairs.

Guts noticed that Griffith informed Casca's maid to start a warm bath for her, before they arrived at her room. The steam from the hot water was visibly seen as soon as Guts entered her washroom.

He laid Casca down onto her expansive and large bed, as she slightly moaned from discomfort. Her hands went to her abdomen, as she hitched a breath, as sharp pains began coming in. Guts realized that perhaps the tightly fitting corset she wore was making her pain worse.

Guts pulled her up towards his chest, as he began loosening the binds of her dress. Casca opened her eyes slightly towards his own, as she looked down and noticed that he was undressing her. "Guts, what are you…," she couldn't finish the sentence, as she began feeling the oncoming pain of her cycle.

"Casca, don't make a big deal about it," Guts stated to her with a sigh. "We've gone through this before, and you can trust me,".

Casca nodded her head at Guts' statement, realizing he didn't take adavantage of her when she was unconscious after their fall into the river that stormy night. She even began helping him with the strings to her dress.

As soon as the gown pooled around her ankles on the floor, Guts gave a discerning look upon the sight of her corset; his brow furrowed in confusion on how to get that thing untied in the first place. Casca saw his look of confusion, and began pulling at a string at the front of her cleavage. It was too tight for her to undo the knot that the maid had done, as she fumbled with the knot to no avail.

Guts then tried undoing the knot, but he was slightly distracted by his fingers smoothing over her bust and cleavage. He clenched his teeth, as he leaned down and pulled the string apart with his teeth.

Casca let out a gasp, surprised by Guts' apparent idea of tearing the knot with his bare teeth. It made her feel shocked at his intial action, but somehow it aroused her as well.

Once Guts got the corset off of her, Casca was naked before him. He carried her to the awaiting bath and set her down in the warm water. Casca's eyes were closed as she took in slight breaths as the warm water helped the pain to subside.

She watched as Guts began removing his overcoat and unbuttoning his vest. As soon as he rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt, he kneeled down at the side of the tub, using a hand to grab a washcloth, and began to wet it in the water. His other hand snaked around the back of Casca's shoulders, as he held the back of her delicate neck ensuring that she would not slip into the water if she lost consciousness.

She noticed his gentle approach towards bathing her, his worried eyes always moving up to her own, as though silently asking her permission to bathe her. She gently nodded in approval, all the while gaining more security in knowing that Guts would never touch her without asking for her consent first.

Her skin felt so soft, as Guts watched the droplets of water from the washcloth moved down her face, onto her neck and towards the valley between her full breasts. He was beginning to long for the night that Casca would hopefully allow him to become intimate with her. He never felt this way about another woman; he himself was quite inexperienced with lovemaking or the act of consummation a marriage.

He had unfortunately only heard of how women were taken against their will, with hearing how many army men at the bars would boast about the act; before ever meeting Griffith or the Band of the Hawk. Griffith never allowed his men to partake in such acts of violence towards women, and the men that served under him only slept with women of the night with their consent, whenever there was a victory celebration.

It was funny how Guts never allowed himself to have a woman; perhaps it was how Casca had somehow felt uncomfortable; looking at how the women would sit upon her fellow men's laps, drinking from their cups of wine, and even dancing around a large fire. Guts noticed how Casca would sigh and walk into her own tent, closing the flaps, as she went to bed. It was as though she was closing off the world, as though she would never have the chance to know what it would be like to dance with someone. It perplexed Guts to see her that way.

After he was finished bathing her, Guts helped Casca out of the tub and found a suitable nightgown for her to wear in her bed. It was made of simple cotton, with a tie at the front. As Guts pulled it over her form, Casca was hoisted up into his arms and escorted to the bed. Guts pulled the soft down covers and tucked her in.

As soon as he was about to excuse himself from her room, Casca stated quietly stopping him in his tracks. "Guts, will you...sleep next to me tonight, I don't want to be alone," she stated softly.

Guts turned and nodded quietly, as he pulled off the white cotton shirt from his pants and pulled it off over his muscular frame. Casca hitched a breath, seeing his rolling muscles, as she tried to cease her racing heart. How handsome he was shirtless, it made her blush. Guts left his pants on and took off his boots, as he moved close to her under the covers. Casca moved herself to face him, as it brought memories of when Guts first opened his eyes after they laid together in a tent when Griffith first struck him down with his sword upon their first meeting. But this time, it wasn't a feeling of hate and uncomfortableness in laying next to a complete stranger as it was back then, but a feeling of potential love and growing feelings of want for him.

_**This chapter was hard to write, in trying to move their potential romance forward a little. I feel that it wasn't a good chapter, but I tried to show Guts' concern over Casca, as in allowing the reader a glimpse of his potential of being an affectionate and caring husband in the future towards Casca. Also, I wanted to hint at Guts and Casca's growing lust towards each other. And as a reminder, this fic follows the second Golden Age Arc, so when I write, I picture lovely animated Guts, Casca, and Griffith! HA!HA! As always please review!**_


	5. Wedding Night

A few days later, Guts and Casca were married by the head priest in the castle's church.

Griffith, dressed in his white armor stood beside his own bride, Princess Charlotte, who blushed with happiness upon this joyous occasion. The king of Midland was beside his daughter, with a smile that brightened his worn face. Griffith was right when he persuaded the king that Casca should marry the Raiders Commander; they made a perfect match. Even the Band of the Hawk had attended the wedding, who couldn't believe that they would ever see the day that Guts and Casca would be married; except Judeau had an all-knowing smile at the couple. He seemed to be the only one, besides Griffith, to see potential in the two of them as a couple.

Casca wore a simple white gown with a train that flowed behind her. Guts was in his lord's garments. The handsome mercenary never believed in angels but the sight of her in her gown made him believe the first time in his hard life that there could be such heavenly creatures.

As Guts and Casca were instructed by the priest to kneel before the statue of a cross that resembled a bird with outstretched wings, Guts noticed how Casca's hands were slightly shaking. This worried him; his heart was beating at a rapid pace, somehow filled with anxiety of the worries of how to be a good husband for her, giving her what she needed in life, but it broke Guts' heart to see how frightened she was of being married to him. Was she afraid of feeling imprisoned by being a wife, or was it that she was frightened that he may force her into their wedding bed that night? He prayed that she didn't think of him that way; Guts did promise her that he would wait until she was ready to give herself to him. He didn't know about her past.

As a sign of comfort, while the priest spoke the words of what it meant for a husband and wife to care for each other, Guts smoothed his hand over her own and held it, making Casca look into his eyes as their heads were bowed and repeated the priest's words. Casca looked up into his eyes, and she was reassured by his promise to her a few weeks past when they were out in the snowy courtyard. Her hands stopped shaking.

During the wedding feast, Corkus was drunk and held a toast to the new couple; he as usual, in a drunken state, blabbered on, sometimes incoherently about how he remembered how Casca hated Guts at the beginning. It was Judeau that stood up and interrupted Corkus, preventing him to stop embarrassing himself, and stated wishes of love and happiness between the two commanders.

Once the wedding feast was almost over, Gaston, Guts' loyal second in command, brought a wrapped gift to the couple. To Guts, Gaston resembled the cautious uncle type, who always stood up for the Raiders Commander whenever Corkus complained about Guts riding out ahead of the army to pursue their enemies every time on the battlefield.

As Gaston handed the gift to Guts and Casca, he stated, "Commander, I give you and Lady Casca this simple gift I've made in hopes for the future of your marriage,". Guts thanked Gaston and handed the gift to Casca, for her to be the one to open it. Casca smiled appreciatively at Gaston and opened the gift; inside was a small blanket that was a type of quilt with the Hawks' emblem stitched in the middle of the blanket. She held it up to have a good look at it. Guts remembered how Gaston told him he was once a tailor in his past before he joined the Band of the Hawk. The sewing was exquisite and detailed; a beautiful piece of stitch work.

"Gaston, what is it?" Guts asked in a somewhat confused tone. Gaston only laughed and patted his commander on the shoulder. "It's a newborn blanket. To keep your firstborn warm," he answered with mirth. "I stitched the Band of the Hawks' emblem so that once your child is swaddled in it, he or she will become a part of our family,".

Guts' eyes shot wide open; he realized that perhaps the small band of mercenaries, and even Griffith, were expecting the couple to have a child. It didn't dawn on him until now. Casca herself looked as though she was about to faint; she herself realizing that everyone was expecting her to be pregnant so soon. She never pictured herself becoming a mother; it was enough stress to think of the wedding night.

"Thank….thank you Gaston, it's a lovely gift; I just hope that you are all not expecting us to have any children so soon. But we will try," she stated in a hesitant tone.

"No no my lady, it is just hope for the future; there is no pressure for you both to start having a brood of children!" Gaston laughed nervously.

Guts looked over to see what Griffith thought of all this. But Griffith himself, only chuckled, and had a warm smile for him and Casca. To Guts, Griffith was content with Guts going on with his idea of marrying Casca. It helped Guts relax; Griffith surely was not expecting them to have children soon, or possibly ever, in the future.

After the feast was over, Guts was escorting his bride up the numerous stairs to their now shared bedroom. But before Guts and Casca made it up the first level on the staircase, Griffith stopped the both of them.

"Casca, if you permit me, may I have a few minutes alone with your husband," he stated with a smile that was hard to say no to. Casca nodded in acknowledgement.

"I'll be up there soon Casca," Guts stated as he saw Casca's maid help her up the steps in her long gown. Griffith noticed how Guts eyes lingered on Casca as she began ascending the long stairwell.

"Guts, I'm sorry for the interruption, but I have just received news from the king that we may be going into battle within a few days time," Griffith stated calmly, causing Guts to immediately snap out of his thoughts on Casca, and turned to him. Guts' brow furrowed; the war was over for Midland's enemies, they were defeated weren't they? "I don't understand, we defeated Midland's potential enemies when we fought at Doldrey," Guts stated.

"Yes I thought as well also, but the Kushans want to try to take over the kingdom, their army is heading out already with Silat commanding thousands of troops," he stated with a sigh. "But I know that we can win, however, it will be a long campaign. We are to ride out with Midland's army and best troops. I'm meeting with the king and his war council tonight to go over plans for the battle," he stated. "And I'm afraid that you will be gone for at least a month, even if the battle goes our way,".

"But Casca…" Guts began stating with worry. He worried about her riding out into battle with the Hawks; what if she gets injured, or worse, killed?

"Casca's services will no longer be needed, as of today, since she is now officially the wife of a lord, her duties are to be here, within the castle walls, waiting for you to come back," Griffith stated. "It is best this way, I told the king that she needs to be protected, especially if she may become pregnant before you leave,".

Guts' look was that of mixed emotions; on one hand he was greatly relieved that Casca would not ride out into battle, ensuring her safety, but on the other hand, his heart broke for her. Guts knew how passionate Casca's cause was to always fight for Griffith's dream; to keep him safe. And how was he going to explain to Casca that her main duty was to focus on being a Lady of the Royal Court? To just wait for her husband to come back? It would be a lonely life for her. And what if he didn't survive this battle?

Griffith could easily read the Raiders Commander's emotions played out on his face and he put a comforting hand upon Guts' shoulder. "I will tell Casca the news, you do not need this burden of telling her tonight. It would be potential bad luck on your wedding night to inform her,".

Guts understood what Griffith was stating; the White Hawk wanted him to enjoy their wedding night in bliss and happiness. Perhaps it was best for Casca to hear the news from her old friend rather than from her husband. Maybe Griffith would be able to let her down easily with his enigmatic words.

"Right now, however, you need to enjoy your night with your wife," Griffith stated with mirth. "Oh, and be gentle with Casca, don't rush her, it may take some time for her to get used to your touches. She has not had the best encounters with men in her past" he stated with a warm smile as he ushered Guts up the stairs to his bride.

Guts opened the door to their bedroom. There were a couple of candles that only lit the vast bedroom. He noticed that Casca was already in their bed, sitting up, as he opened the door. She looked petrified and nervous. It broke Guts' heart. In his mind, he felt rushed at the need to try to have Casca become intimate with him; now that he knew that he was heading out to battle within a few days' time. Guts only wanted to be with her at least once, in order to relish the feeling of having this beautiful woman in his embrace. But would Casca allow it to happen so soon?

"Guts, here, let me help you get undressed," Casca stated as she got out of their bed. Guts smiled warmly at his bride, seeing how she was trying to dote on him on their wedding night. She looked so innocent and sweet, unlike the rough female commander that yelled at him at the beginning of his time in the Band of the Hawk. How much she had changed.

Guts felt the tips of her nipples from her cotton nightgown, as she moved closer to his chest, beginning to take off his lord's coat and unbuttoning his vest. It made him hard just to feel her body in close proximity to his own. It would be difficult for him tonight to just lay with her, especially if they were to sleep together side by side in the nude.

As she pulled his cotton shirt over his head, Guts pressed his lips to her own. She could feel his need for her in his kiss; she herself felt she couldn't deny him as she felt a wetness pool around her intimate spot. She was beginning to want him, but her hands began shaking a little from fear when she began undoing his pants. She felt his member even through his pants, as her delicate fingers slid them down his legs.

For the first time, Casca saw his hardened length. She held in a breath, realizing that he was big. This terrified her even more, Casca didn't think about how big Guts could possibly be, but now she knew.

Guts realized her eyes widened at the sight, and he pulled her up gently with his muscular arms. "Casca, we don't have to…" he began stating, but he was interrupted when she kissed him. He could feel the kiss somehow being forced, as though Casca was trying to make herself realize that she should allow him to have her tonight.

"No, Guts, I've decided, I want to be with you tonight…I am afraid but why should I keep fearing what will eventually happen, if I keep putting it off," she stated with tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. "Besides, you've done so much for me, and I don't want you to have to wait any longer," she stated quietly.

Guts embraced her, leaning her head into his chest, as she felt the rapid pace of his heart. "Casca, I only want to make you feel good, I don't want you to have any pain," he stated as he brushed the strands of hair away from her forehead and kissed it. "Besides, I won't know exactly what I'm doing, so you will have to show me," he stated with embarrassment.

"How will I know, this will be my first time too," she stated with a nervous giggle. "But all I know is that I do want you, now, tonight, and if I refuse, I know in the morning I will regret it," she stated as her cheeks took on a lovely crimson.

"Then I guess we'll learn together," he stated warmly as he suddenly picked her up in his arms and carried her to their bed.

Guts promised himself to make this night special for his beautiful bride.


End file.
